Well hello...this week definitely happened! I definitely
learned a lot this week and made some progress on my goals and the things I'm
working on. We had a packed week this week. I've been really good about filling
our schedule with productive things and events. It helps with my attitude and
the PTSD symptoms if I give myself something to focus on and complete, rather
than just roaming the streets of Poland trying to talk to people. It's been
helping a ton!
We had another one of those 'testing weeks' where everything
just fell through. All of the meetings we set up, even the ones with the
members, didn't happen and were forgotten about and so on. So that was hard. It
really helped me, though, to realize that I really didn't actually care that
much haha.
I did what I needed to do, and it didn't work out, but we
had done what the Lord needed us to do! We have been learning to laugh a lot
when things don't go our way, and do our best to "find joy in the
journey". We've come a really long way! I've seen a huge change in the way
I react to persecution/mean and grumpy people/let-downs. In fact, I tried
talking to this older gentleman on the tram on my way to email this morning,
and he was not having it at all. I asked him how he was doing, and he asked me
why? and then told me it wasn't necessary for me to know, and stopped talking
to me. A few weeks ago, I would have probably gotten frustrated at how hardened
Polish people are, but instead I just felt bad for the poor guy. It takes a lot
to move a person so far away from human interaction that they don't trust the
intentions of someone asking them about their own life. Anyways-I'm learning to
love the Polish people more and more. It's been a long journey, but I feel like
I've turned a corner.
This week was really good, because I realized a few
things that have been helping me a lot. Like I said: I feel like I've finally
turned that corner. I've accepted in my heart(finally... Yes, I know I'm
stubborn). That I actually want to be here and that I'm going to do whatever I
need to in order to love my mission and love these people. I've been learning to control my mind. People say all the
time that 'attitude is everything'. Well I realized that our attitude is fully
dependent on our thoughts. Good thoughts come from God and His Spirit, and bad thoughts
are attempts to bring us down, and are not from God.
I've been working on training my mind to keep the good
thoughts, and dismiss the bad ones as quickly as possible. I've even been doing
it with my pain, and just literally telling myself in my head that it doesn't
hurt as bad as it feels, and that I'm not really hurt, and that everything is
going to be great... and just look at that-my pain has been doing SO much
better. It's ridiculous how much power our minds have and what we can train
them to do. The Lord has been giving me opportunities to practice training my
mind by giving me sucky situations to deal with hahaha... but it's been going
well, and I can say that I've enjoyed my mission so much more this week than I
ever have the past 3 months. It's going to be good. Not only am I going to
survive Poland, but I'm going to end up loving it.
The church is true! The Atonement is real! I sure love
you guys. Make it the best week ever.
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