Monday, April 20, 2015

April 20th....

Hey fam!

yep.... so I'm still hanging in there! :) This week has hands down
been the toughest week of my life- but looking back, I've absolutely
loved it and been so grateful for it because of all of the things that
I was able to learn throughout it all. Things are going good. I've
talked a lot with president, and things really look like they're
winding down to an end.... Essentially we're just
waiting for the results of the MRI... which is kind of unnecessary
because if the results are bad- they have to send me home to get my
back fixed. If they're good, then they have to send me home because
they don't know what's wrong with me. My only two saving outlooks are
if 1) the results come back and it's a minor problem with my back
causing all of this pain that can be fixed in Poland, or 2)
Miraculously all of the sudden I get up and am perfectly fine.
I know that God has a plan. I trust in the Lord 100% and know that His will
will be done. If He wants me to be healed, then I know I will be. If
he needs me to go home for a time, or go home for good, then there's a
reason for it. I'm just doing my best to trust in Him, and work every
single day like it's the last day of my mission. I even tried going
out the other day, out of the office,  to see if I could do real missionary work. It ended
up getting to me pretty good, so right now it's not looking good.
However, we will see! There's a huge mission president conference in
Germany these next few days that all of the doctors will be at...
which means that I will just be waiting to receive news for another
little while. It's been really hard to have absolutely NO control over
my situation, but instead have to trust 100% in the Lord. Throughout
all of my life, I have not had many opportunities to do that. My life
has been filled with situations where I had full control over
everything that was happening. If I wanted good grades, I went out and
got them. If I wanted to start on the soccer team, I had to go out
there and win it. In this specific situation, literally the only thing
I can do is work my best to keep my head up, continue to work, and be
grateful for each and every day. This trial is allowing me to learn
lots of patience and trust in God. It is also helping me learn empathy
for others like I never would have imagined. It is so much harder to
judge others and be impatient with people when I realize that at any
moment, they could be going through a fraction of what I'm going to,
which instantly makes me feel so much more patience and love and
concern for them. I am working to become more loving and kind to
everyone, despite their differences, idiosyncrasies, and
imperfections. I am grateful for the trials and challenges in my life,
and for my Savior, Jesus Christ who carries me through them. I am
grateful for the chance to be tested and tried in my life, and I am so
grateful for the gospel which gives us perspective in our lives. I
love the Savior, and I love all of y'all! Make it the best week of
your life.
-Elder Quackenbush

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