Jan 29...HEALTH UPDATE

Hey guys, quick update:

The first urine test: everything is normal except I'm a little bit high in some weird thing that I've never heard of(it's normal, it's just a biological term that I've never come across)... the doctor told me in polish that it had to do with red blood cells... They're just a TINY bit high, which isn't a problem at all. So that's a relief, but that's also one idea down. The second urine test should be done in 3-4 days the receptionist said, so maybe by the end of next week they will be done, and we can hopefully get some more information.

I was a bulldog and got myself an ultrasound scheduled for TODAY instead of in 3 weeks!(I do have a lot of my mother in me(: ). I went to the hospital for a 3rd time today and got an ultrasound. *Shocker* all they found was the small varicoceles on the left side, and referred me back to this good urologist that I had seen. So that kinda rules out that option. Looks like we're left with the lower digestive system scope if the lady ever calls me back, and after that the MRI option if necessary. Starting monday morning I'm going to contact the urologist and get in touch with the scope lady through him.

I've been thinking a ton about what's going on, due to the fact that I have a ton of time on my hands. What if subconsciously there is something going on? I've talked to President about it, and maybe it's a real possibility. I came home a little traumatized from Poland only 8 months ago, and then was asked to go back. Coming back was 100% out of faith and commitment to Heavenly Father, and none of it was because Justin Quackenbush wanted to come back to Poland. It's been weighing on me, though. On the one hand, I'm proud of myself for doing what I needed to and coming back to the place that scares me half to death and that almost killed me last time, but I also feel weak for the fact that deep deep down my subconscious is having such a rough time with this. Is it all in my head? Everybody knows that that question is my literal least favorite question on the face of this earth, and if the pain is coming from my subconscious, then I've got something to change somehow. I've had such a good attitude since being here and I'm trying my best, but maybe I can change something else?

Maybe I need to learn how to meditate or something? How do I beat this? These are the thoughts I'm currently mulling over... ideas? I really am doing really well though. I feel good, I feel the Spirit, especially in the hard times and the trials, and I know I need to be here right now. I'm still working on finding out where this pain is coming from, so I'll keep you updated! I'll pass on the doctor's information to the local authorities haha. Mom, I loved what you said about the temple. I've been praying about it a lot and will continue to search for answers. It's all going to work out how it's supposed to, I promise! The church is true! I'm learning and growing so much. I Love y'all.

Week of January 28, 2016.....HEALTH UPDATE

Health Update:
Hey guys, I got permission to update you guys real quick about the meeting. He was a REALLY good doctor, and didn't just tell me I had prostytitis like the last guy. He told us it wasn't an easy fix and that he didn't actually know what the problem is. BUT, he did give us a plan. He has contacts everywhere, and gave us things to do.
1) Urine Sample (tomorrow morning I need to take it to the hospital and get it checked.
2) Ultrasound of the abdomen. He gave me 3 numbers to doctors. I set up with one for the 15th of february, and the other two I am calling in the morning when they are in the office.
3) Trus Ultrasound. He says that he knows the best ultrasound doctor in Poland, and gave us her cell phonee number. I will get in contact with her tomorrow, also.

If all of those don't work, it could be something with my nerves or backbone or something, and he perscribed us a great place for an MRI as a backup. This doctor told us that he could be like a "home base"
and would be happy to help, even though this problem probably isn't urological. It was a blessing and answer to prayers.

So that's where we're at! It was a little discouraging hearing that there wasn't an easy answer(go figure), but I'm doing really good. God still has a plan, and I'm still going to follow it! I love y'all!
Please keep the prayers up-they're a huge help!

Week of January 25, 2016...

Hey Guys,

Soooooooo I survived another week out here haha. It was another week of ups and downs, and certainly a lot of faith-building exercises.

I seem to be living in one huge paradox. I have a ton of pain in my pelvis and genitals, which is exacerbated when I exercise, thus keeping me away from exercising. However, In not exercising, I'm quickly reverting back to the state I was in, right after my surgeries. I've essentially given the 8 months of physical therapy back, thrown it out the window, and I'm starting to have hip and back and leg pain all over again. I'm in a pickle. On top of that, we have no idea what is going on. I'm still in the office, and will be essentially until something changes. The problem is, we don't know how to fix the problem. Nobody knows if I need to rest everything and hope it goes away, or if I need to just walk through it, and everything will alleviate itself(instead of being exacerbated by the sitting)? I want to try that approach, but am concerned because in many of my Priesthood blessings/setting apart blessing, I was told "not to push through with courage like (I) did last time", to stop, and switch things up, and I felt really good about coming into the office to rest for a time. So that's what I've done.

I have been promised many great things as a missionary, especially in coming back. The Lord has a plan, and if I do everything in my power to get better, then I can expect with full confidence for "the hand of the Lord to be revealed". I've been praying to Heavenly Father for help and guidance. I'll think and pray about all of the different options over the next little while, and then ask for guidance. I have a meeting with the urologist on Thursday that I feel really good about. I think that he's at least the first step in our little puzzle.

However, It is incredibly difficult to push forward with faith when I realize that I am on the same exact path that I was on last time that sent me home essentially in a body bag. I'm scared, and I'm worried about the future, but I have faith in God's plan, and that He will protect me and lift me through my trials. He Lives! He's the best, and I love Him!

Love all of you. Please keep up the prayers in my behalf-I need them! :)

Week of January 18th...

I feel like I start all of my emails out the same way, because I usually type things how I would say them in person.... which means that usually the first word is "well....." and maybe a little bit of a sigh? I don't know... life is super interesting :)

So yeah. Well I'm back in the office lol.  I've considered just saying that much and letting y'all figure out the rest, but I feel like that wouldn't go over well, plus mamma quack might fly over here this time to figure out what's going on, so I won't do that!  The medicine they were given me to help with all of the problems was definitely helping. I saw  a HUGE difference in my ability to walk, and in my pain levels. However, no matter how long I took the pills, I always maxed out and plateau'ed. I got on this pretty regular 2-day cycle. The first day was great. I was really smart about how much I walked, and resting, and eating well, and I usually made it until about 19:00 that day before I broke down-meaning until I got to the point very suddenly where I wouldn't let myself open my mouth because I knew I was going to say something I would regret later that night.  The pain was pretty terrible, and it would take me a solid 20 minutes to hobble back home from the nearest tram stop(like 1/3 kilometer) from the house. Once I got home and applied ice for a long time and said a few prayers, then everything would be pretty good. Then the next day in my two day cycle would be terrible hahaha. Within 30 minutes of finishing studies I was already having some pain, and needing to lie down as soon as we got to our meeting. The Lord carried me. I had the Spirit, and was told when to stop, and when to sit, and when to go home for the day, and that's what we did. Elder Cowley was great about allowing us to follow the Spirit. It was hard. Then, on Wednesday of this week, President had to bring me some refills on my medicine, and he told me that he had been considering bringing me back into the office to give me a solid 2 weeks of not moving to see if we could get the problems to settle down and then we could go from there.  He knows how much I hated that idea. He told me to think and pray about it, and that he would do the same. So I did. I thought about it a lot, and prayed about it, and definitely got the answer that that's what I needed to do. I will admit that it was really really hard for me to accept, because of my pride and selfishness.... (yeah I'm working on that)... because Elder Cowley and I were at that time BLESSED with 4 of the 6 baptismal dates in Poland, and were so busy teaching lessons that we didn't even have enough time in the day to keep scheduling meetings. It was hard to submit to His will, but once I did, so much peace came with it. So I'm in the office now with Elder Campora. We are instructed to be productive when we can be in the office, but to rest and try to get over it. But I've been in here for

5 days and nothing is getting better... which means that (drum roll please...).... I'll get to do everything all over again! I've thought about it a lot, and I am doing so much better with that whole idea this time around. I know that the Lord is preparing me, and He is going to show me just how far He will go with me-which  means that I'm going to be carried for at least a sizeable distance! I'm focusing on the little things like always having the Spirit, and on looking for the positives. That's something I've really learned that has made a night and day difference in my life. The days that I actively focus on having a good attitude, and am GRATEFUL instead, everything changes.  It's all do-able... I can make it. I've been practicing that every day, and it's made a world of difference.

I'm keeping myself sane with studying. I found a polish language book in the apartment that I read just about everywhere when there's nothing else to be done. It's a nice thing to help me get my polish back and not lose my mind. On top of that, I found a Book of Mormon student study course... and it is blowing  my mind! I look forward to learning and reading from it, even during my meal hours... just to keep my mind busy. It has made a world of a difference!

I'm happy, I'm still alive, and I have faith in my Savior that everything will work out in the way that it should. I love Him, and have a testimony that His plan is so much better than my plan, even if His goes through some rough terrain. It's hard being a missionary again, but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world! I love all of you! Have the best week of your lives!