I feel like I start all of my emails out the same way,
because I usually type things how I would say them in person.... which means
that usually the first word is "well....." and maybe a little bit of
a sigh? I don't know... life is super interesting :)
So yeah. Well I'm back in the office lol. I've considered just saying that much and
letting y'all figure out the rest, but I feel like that wouldn't go over well,
plus mamma quack might fly over here this time to figure out what's going on,
so I won't do that! The medicine they
were given me to help with all of the problems was definitely helping. I
saw a HUGE difference in my ability to
walk, and in my pain levels. However, no matter how long I took the pills, I
always maxed out and plateau'ed. I got on this pretty regular 2-day cycle. The
first day was great. I was really smart about how much I walked, and resting,
and eating well, and I usually made it until about 19:00 that day before I
broke down-meaning until I got to the point very suddenly where I wouldn't let
myself open my mouth because I knew I was going to say something I would regret
later that night. The pain was pretty
terrible, and it would take me a solid 20 minutes to hobble back home from the
nearest tram stop(like 1/3 kilometer) from the house. Once I got home and
applied ice for a long time and said a few prayers, then everything would be
pretty good. Then the next day in my two day cycle would be terrible hahaha.
Within 30 minutes of finishing studies I was already having some pain, and
needing to lie down as soon as we got to our meeting. The Lord carried me. I
had the Spirit, and was told when to stop, and when to sit, and when to go home
for the day, and that's what we did. Elder Cowley was great about allowing us
to follow the Spirit. It was hard. Then, on Wednesday of this week, President
had to bring me some refills on my medicine, and he told me that he had been
considering bringing me back into the office to give me a solid 2 weeks of not
moving to see if we could get the problems to settle down and then we could go
from there. He knows how much I hated
that idea. He told me to think and pray about it, and that he would do the
same. So I did. I thought about it a lot, and prayed about it, and definitely
got the answer that that's what I needed to do. I will admit that it was really
really hard for me to accept, because of my pride and selfishness.... (yeah I'm
working on that)... because Elder Cowley and I were at that time BLESSED with 4
of the 6 baptismal dates in Poland, and were so busy teaching lessons that we
didn't even have enough time in the day to keep scheduling meetings. It was
hard to submit to His will, but once I did, so much peace came with it. So I'm
in the office now with Elder Campora. We are instructed to be productive when
we can be in the office, but to rest and try to get over it. But I've been in
here for
5 days and nothing is getting better... which means that
(drum roll please...).... I'll get to do everything all over again! I've
thought about it a lot, and I am doing so much better with that whole idea this
time around. I know that the Lord is preparing me, and He is going to show me
just how far He will go with me-which
means that I'm going to be carried for at least a sizeable distance! I'm
focusing on the little things like always having the Spirit, and on looking for
the positives. That's something I've really learned that has made a night and
day difference in my life. The days that I actively focus on having a good
attitude, and am GRATEFUL instead, everything changes. It's all do-able... I can make it. I've been
practicing that every day, and it's made a world of difference.
I'm keeping myself sane with studying. I found a polish
language book in the apartment that I read just about everywhere when there's
nothing else to be done. It's a nice thing to help me get my polish back and
not lose my mind. On top of that, I found a Book of Mormon student study course...
and it is blowing my mind! I look
forward to learning and reading from it, even during my meal hours... just to
keep my mind busy. It has made a world of a difference!
I'm happy, I'm still alive, and I have faith in my Savior
that everything will work out in the way that it should. I love Him, and have a
testimony that His plan is so much better than my plan, even if His goes
through some rough terrain. It's hard being a missionary again, but I wouldn't
trade this experience for the world! I love all of you! Have the best week of
your lives!
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