Hey Guys,
Soooooooo I survived another week out here haha. It was
another week of ups and downs, and certainly a lot of faith-building exercises.
I seem to be living in one huge paradox. I have a ton of
pain in my pelvis and genitals, which is exacerbated when I exercise, thus
keeping me away from exercising. However, In not exercising, I'm quickly
reverting back to the state I was in, right after my surgeries. I've
essentially given the 8 months of physical therapy back, thrown it out the
window, and I'm starting to have hip and back and leg pain all over again. I'm
in a pickle. On top of that, we have no idea what is going on. I'm still in the
office, and will be essentially until something changes. The problem is, we
don't know how to fix the problem. Nobody knows if I need to rest everything
and hope it goes away, or if I need to just walk through it, and everything
will alleviate itself(instead of being exacerbated by the sitting)? I want to
try that approach, but am concerned because in many of my Priesthood
blessings/setting apart blessing, I was told "not to push through with
courage like (I) did last time", to stop, and switch things up, and I felt
really good about coming into the office to rest for a time. So that's what
I've done.
I have been promised many great things as a missionary,
especially in coming back. The Lord has a plan, and if I do everything in my
power to get better, then I can expect with full confidence for "the hand
of the Lord to be revealed". I've been praying to Heavenly Father for help
and guidance. I'll think and pray about all of the different options over the
next little while, and then ask for guidance. I have a meeting with the
urologist on Thursday that I feel really good about. I think that he's at least
the first step in our little puzzle.
However, It is incredibly difficult to push forward with
faith when I realize that I am on the same exact path that I was on last time
that sent me home essentially in a body bag. I'm scared, and I'm worried about
the future, but I have faith in God's plan, and that He will protect me and
lift me through my trials. He Lives! He's the best, and I love Him!
Love all of you. Please keep up the prayers in my
behalf-I need them! :)
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